Went St.John Passing Out Parade for NCO Course today, I am serious touch by my cadets! Love you all so much! Thanks so much for the gift and you all will always be in my heart! Back home and took a nap! Around 7pm went IMM with family and had a great dinner that I never had for such a long time. Family members, dearest X2 are the only ones that understand me and the ones I can talk to.

What is commitment? Do you really know what is the meaning or you are not a human. Without brain to think what is right? I am utterly disappointed. 7 years of service but ended up NOTHING!!! I sacrifice so much time and effort yet, you say not enough commitment? What the crap is this? What KJ said was right!!! It is time for me to RETIRE, gave up completely, no longer exist in my life? I am really sad, tears just continue to drop and I cannot control it. This was the most important thing which takes up part of my life, it is so difficult to let go. I cannot bear to do it because of two reasons, my hard work and the little kids. Anyone can teach me how can I do it? My heart really break into pieces today! It's just like the earth is going to vanish, I am going to die! No more!!! NO MORE!!!