Today is the WORSE DAY EVER!!! All I can say is I'm SORRY! I was at work the whole day. The moment I enter my workplace, the Malay manager caught my earrings. He said "Can you don't wear so many earrings" so I took it out. After that around 11am they ask me to go for lunch alone and I went. When I was back from lunch they deploy me a VIP table. I was feeling very stress and wasn't feeling well. My stomach was really pain at the point of time. Around 3pm they ask me to go for my break which is until 4pm, I went to take a rest. When I was back at 4pm, I was deployed another VIP table. At that point of time I was really really tired but still got to continue my work. At around 8pm the dinner started. I knew something was going to happen. An accident really occurred! A spillage case! I spilled the glass of red wine on the GM!!! I apologies to him and he was so kind. He also keep saying he was alright and told me not to worry. It was an accident seriously. I was holding onto a white wine glass which I was going to serve to him and holding a tray with red wine behind his chair. Didn't expect him to move his chair to excuse himself. He pushed his chair and hit onto my hand. Then the red wine spill over his shirt by the side. Team leader and manager was very pissed and this can tell from the face. It's so obvious!!! Everyone knew what happen and I don't know how to face them now especially the team leader that got scolded by managers because of me. I am really feeling very guilty but there's nothing I can help. I shouldn't have gone back to work am I right? It was bad!!! Everything sucks to the max!!! I hurt a lot of people. When can i get rid of this? Can those things stop following me and control my life? I want to live my own life. A life without you all, I am very sick and tired of it. My nails also scratch a friend of mine. Seriously, that wasn't my strength. What those things want with me? Just tell me and don't hurt those friends that are by my side.

When all this things happen, can my friends kindly call my name to call me back? When you all find that it wasn't me or my character, call MY NAME! Example: Lose my temper suddenly, got a strength that girls don't normally have, talking weird, staring etc. Got to help to call my name back. This is really not me, I swear! LEAVE ME ALONE can you?